What Hurts The Most
by Freedom Dancer
Summary: Ed was tired of living without his true love, and seeing the flashback of what happened to her was to much. He took it upon himself to end everything. Ed X OC.  Oneshot
1. I Never Said Goodbye

_**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house**_  
><em><strong>That don't bother me<strong>_  
><em><strong>I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out<strong>_

_**I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though**_  
><em><strong>Goin' on with you gone still upsets me<strong>_  
><em><strong>There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay<strong>_  
><em><strong>But that's not what gets me<strong>_

_**What hurts the most**_  
><em><strong>Was being so close<strong>_  
><em><strong>And havin' so much to say<strong>_  
><em><strong>And watchin' you walk away<strong>_

_**And never knowin'**_  
><em><strong>What could've been<strong>_  
><em><strong>And not seein' that lovin' you<strong>_  
><em><strong>Is what I was tryin' to do<strong>_

How he longed for her to be here by his side, for to her to kiss his lips, for her to hold his hand. Though the blonde knew that was impossible now, for his love to come back, for her to be with him. Edward stared at the damp ground sadly. Today, of course, it would be raining. It was her birthday, but oddly enough, it was her burial day too. Ed felt tears begin to roll out of his eyes, and no matter how hard he tried to hold them back, they came anyways. The topaz eyed alchemist kneeled down quietly, clapped his hands together, and sat them on the ground, creating a blue light. When the light faded, there were three roses on the ground, and a grey stone heart in the middle. The first rose was white, representing purity in his lover's heart. The second was red, representing the blood she had shed to protect him, and the third rose was black. It represented her inner turmoil, and how she looked for any way out. "For you, my love," Ed sobbed.

He picked up the four items and laid them neatly on her grave, staring straight at her name the whole time. Her image came to mind, and it stuck there. Her shoulder length brown hair, forestry green eyes, and beautiful smile she gave took a lot out of Ed. He felt his breathing quicken, and more tears made their way out of Ed's eyes. "Brother, Kara loved you a lot, and she said she'd never forget you, even after death… She prom-"

"Shut up Al! Just because she promised doesn't mean I have to believe a damn word she said," Ed yelled angrily, letting his emotions get the best of him.

Stunned, Al backed away, his golden hair hanging down into his greyish gold eyes. The younger brother tried not to cry at his brother's tone, but that was too much, even for Edward. Tears silently ran down Al's cheeks, and he turned and ran.

_**It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go  
>But I'm doin' it<br>It's hard to force that smile when I see your old friends and I'm alone  
>Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret<br>But I know if I could do it over  
>I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart<br>That I left unspoken**_

Ed didn't bother chasing after him, all wounds healed in time, but Ed didn't think of this wound going away, ever. The dagger was too deep anyway, and pulling it out would only make his heart bleed more. "Kara, I'm so sorry I didn't protect you, and I didn't mean the words I just said… I was just too angry and heartbroken to tell Al how I really felt… I wish you were still here to guide me, to give me the right words too say…," Ed sobbed.

He leaned down, his knees finally touching the wet dirt, and his face hit the ground. He remembered how she had died, how she had been killed._ "Leave him be brother," Kara screamed angrily._

_She charged at Envy, but then she stopped, tears moistening her tan cheeks. She looked back to see Edward lying on the ground, blood gushing out of his right arm, left leg, and a small spot on his stomach. All these wounds were deep, but would killing her brother help anything? Kara fell to her knees, a sword in each hand. "I can't kill you damnit… I never could and I never will… You trained me to protect you, and that's what I will do…," Kara whispered, loudly enough for everyone, even Ed, too hear._

_Envy smirked and planted his hands on his hips, his fangs showing from one end to the other. "Keh, I trained you well, Kara Rose…"_

"_Kara, what are you doing? Brother and I trusted you," Al yelled sorrowfully._

_Kara glanced back, her head halfway to him. "I know, and I'm sorry it has to come to this…," Kara replied._

_She looked back at her brother and trainer, Envy, a frown hitting her lips. "Kill them Kara, my pet," Envy said cockily through a smirk._

_Kara bit her lip, drawing a little blood, but she quickly wiped it away. She held her swords firmly in each hand, making sure her grip was tight enough to turn her knuckles white, and it did. Kara began to charge at Al, but she back flipped and made her swords slice through Envy's stomach. Angrily looking at her, Envy snarled. "You sorry back stabbing little bastard, and to think you are my little sister! You disgust me!"_

"_That makes two of us!"_

_Kara and Envy went straight towards each other, their faces snarled up in anger and anguish, each one determined to come out on top. The two collided in an all-out battle, but it quickly took a turn for the worst when Envy grabbed Kara's wrists, twisted her around, and held both blades at her. The one in her left hand was angled towards her heart, and the one in her right was laid neatly against her neck. She winced as the cool metal gently rubbed up against her bare flesh. But instead of Kara fighting back, she smiled a sad smile, and began to talk. "Brother, my life is more valuable to you than theirs… Take me instead, and kill me. I will make a Philosopher's Stone power even more incredible then them… Please, Envy, use me," Kara begged, not showing all of her sadness._

_The green haired homunculus smirked. "Very well, I'll use you instead. You two can go."_

_The only reason Envy accepted was because he knew how much pain it would cause Ed, and in turns of turmoil, he usually took it out on loved ones. Not really meaning to, but that was how it always worked for Edward._

_The elder brother of the two alchemists forced himself into an upright position, and his eyes went wide with horror. His heart-beat quickened and he reached his automail hand out to his true love, but she shook her head no. "ENVY, LET KARA GO," Ed screamed, tears burning his skin._

"_Hm, how about, no?"_

_Envy smiled an evil smile, and he forced the bottom sword into Kara's chest. "Now, I think I'll do the top sword too."_

_Kara gasped in pain, and she began to choke up blood. Her bright green eyes were fading, slowly, but they were fading. It was too easy to see. She grabbed her chest, holding her heart after Envy yanked the sword out of her flesh. He laughed and cut a small cut into her neck, not enough to kill her, but just leave her barely alive. He let go of Kara, and she fell to the ground, face first. "KARA," Ed and Al screamed simultaneously._

_Her arms lay out by her sides, almost touching the outfit she was fighting in. Her legs were down behind her, and her head lay to the left of her body. Her hair covered the small part of her face that could've shown if it wasn't there. Forcing himself up, Ed limped over to her almost lifeless body. "K-Kara… Why-why the hell would you do that?"_

_Ed threw himself down by her and pulled her body into his arms. He angled her so her eyes were staring directly into his, her chest up against his body. "You have so much more Edward… A life, a small family, but still a family when I have nothing… You have so much more to live for then I ever will… I love you Ed… This is g-good…"_

_The green of her eyes went blank and her skin cooled almost instantly, but there was something different about Kara, something Ed was just now noticing too. She was smiling, and it wasn't to cover up any sadness or pain. This smile was genuine and real, and she had a distinct aura coming off of her, love and forgiveness. Ed buried his head into Kara's chest, and he began to sob wildly. Al came up behind him, and he too, began to cry._

Edward cried even harder. She never finished that sentence, and that was only because she had disappeared right there in his arms, but at least she died with a smile on her face. Her eyes had been blank in death, but before, her eyes were filled with a lot of sorrow, but she hid that behind her smiles. She always reassured people of her emotions by hiding them behind other things. Sometimes, when she was crying, she would hang her head and let her bangs shadow her eyes. Other times, she would turn and walk away.

_**What hurts the most  
>Is being so close<br>And havin' so much to say  
>(Much to say)<br>And watchin' you walk away**_

_**And never knowin'**_  
><em><strong>What could've been<strong>_  
><em><strong>And not seein' that lovin' you<strong>_  
><em><strong>Is what I was tryin' to do, oh<strong>_  
><em><strong>Oh yeah<strong>_

Ed would never forget Kara, he couldn't and he would not do it. He wouldn't let himself forget. Then he realized, he couldn't bare being without her. He looked at Kara's grave, a half smile gracing his face. "Thank you for making me Christian when you did Kara."

Ed clapped his hands again and transmuted his automail hand into its usual blade.

_**What hurts the most  
>Was being so close<br>And havin' so much to say  
>(To say)<br>And watchin' you walk away**_

_**And never knowin'**_  
><em><strong>What could've been<strong>_  
><em><strong>And not seein' that lovin' you<strong>_  
><em><strong>Is what I was tryin' to do<strong>_

"I'll see you in those gates of gold, love… I promise…," Ed whispered.

He angled his blade at his heart, hoping no one would see him, but he was interrupted by Al. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, still, and he ran towards Ed. "Brother, no, don't do it!"

He was too late, the blood already dripped down his shirt, and he fell against the head stone of Kara's grave. He landed upright in a sitting position, and his blade fell out of his chest.

~ 2 Days Later~

Al looked at both of the graves, and for the first time in a week, he smiled. He realized that all his brother wanted was to be with his true love, Kara. He was with her now, and Al was happy because he knew Ed was happy. He laid two roses on each grave, both white.

He turned away, a smile on his lips, and he walked away, remembering all the loving moments that he had with Ed and Kara. He would never forget the moments of anxiety, of happiness, of embarrassment, and for times like this, sorrow. Before he was completely gone, he whispered," I love you brother… I love you Kara… and I promise… I'll never forget the friendship we all shared…"

For the rest of Al's life, he never forgot what hurt him the most, losing his brother, and his best friend.

_**Not seein' that lovin' you  
>that's what I was trying to do, ooo<strong>_


	2. Author's Note IMPORTANT

Guys, just to ask, who would rather this be a RusselXOC fanfiction instead of... -shudders slightly- EdXOC? And who likes this Fanfiction, because I don't... -_-''

~Kara-chan


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